When Michael Cohen Spills the Beans . . .

Donald Trump’s consigliere Michael Cohen purchased a cheap paper shredder for his moveable office space, and as a result the DOJ has painstakingly reassembled at least sixteen (16) of his shredded documents, sliced into strips prior to or during the recent federal raid on Cohen’s offices.

This is reminiscent of Iranian efforts to identify American diplomatic personnel—who were masquerading as Canadian movie staffers—by reassembling shredded passport photos (dramatized in the movie “Argo” based on actual events during the Iranian revolution involving the takeover of the American embassy and the kidnapping of embassy employees in 1979-1981).

Michael Cohen liked to save old cellphones, and at least two of his ancient Blackberries yielded oodles of old texts and other messages.

Michael Cohen didn’t seem to discard many of his files, requiring DOJ staff to determine which of the hundreds of thousands (millions?) of documents and records he retained over the two decades plus he shilled for Donald Trump are protected by the attorney-client privilege. Only a tiny fraction of those files has been so designated, several hundred at last count.

Michael Cohen’s counsel fees have been spiraling out of control and his assets assessed for bail and potential forfeiture. The Trump campaign fund paid some of his attorneys but balked at putting up the cash for the long haul. Michael Cohen has been selling some assets and trying to imagine a world without a $50,000 per month slush fund payment from He Who Must Be Obeyed.

And Michael Cohen’s exposure appears to go well beyond federal pardonable crimes to the realm of nonpardonable state crimes, which most state attorneys general would salivate to prosecute.

So, where does this leave the hapless Michael Cohen, faithful counsel to the Cult of Mountebank, His Holiness The Clown?

Hoist, as they say, on his own petard. Skewered like some pork waiting to be barbecued for public consumption.

And mightily tempted to make things easier and simpler for himself and his family by spilling the beans on his erstwhile mentor in the Big House in D.C.

So, Donald, hear this: The man you so casually failed to hire for your Washington staff and then repeatedly belittled in the press will have his day.

At your expense.

And the American people just can’t wait.