I Wrote the “Anonymous” Op Ed (and I’m Not Sorry)

As Donald Trump fulminates and threatens his entire senior staff with dire consequences if it doesn’t disclose the identity of the person who authorized the anonymous publication of a highly critical Op Ed in The (non-failing) New York Times earlier this week, no one in his right mind suspects me.

Nor will they.

That’s right. I’m the culprit. Working right under the great man’s nose.

Trump has accused me of treason (J’Accuse!). I don’t think so. My actions are helping keep Trump from nuking North Korea, Iran, and/or Syria. And assassinating Assad. And invading Venezuela. Among other unthinkables.

And that is not treason. That is protecting America from making terrible irreversible errors that could blow up or disorder much of the world.

Dozens of senior White House staff officials plus the Director of the FBI and the Secretary of State have signed letters attesting to their innocence in this affair.

Well and good. If they want to protect their rear ends, more power to them. But if they want to see the return of good governance in our executive branch, good luck to them in this Crazytown of an executive branch with a madman in charge obsessively running off at the mouth with ignorant riffs and understanding little to nothing about the nuts and bolts of operating a republic.

Senator Rand Paul—he of little valor and many bruises from his next-door neighbor—and an admitted addict of Ayn Rand (another Crazytown leader of her own cult not unlike that of the Orange One), wants all White House staff to take polygraphs. Not on your tintype.

Just imagine:

First question: “Are you now, or have you ever been, a mole for The New York Times.” The penalty for answering untruthfully? The blacklist, the hole, bread and water, LOCK HIM UP, the guillotine. Send him to North Korea tied to a nuclear missile. Shoot him in broad daylight on Fifth Avenue. In front of Trump Tower.

Donald Trump is apparently attempting to coerce all senior staff into signing an affidavit that they did not write the damning Op Ed. As if such affidavits—if found to be false—would be binding or provide for penalties of any kind save, no doubt, being fired.

Pundits disagree as to whether Anonymous is a hero or a villain. I opt for hero. It takes courage in the Era of Trump to call a spade a spade, to out the nasties in the White House and the full range of despicable, dangerous acts that Trump considers to be the province of governing as chief executive.

We all know the truth as revealed in recently published books by Michael Wolff (Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House), Omarosa Manigault Newman (Unhinged: An Insider’s Account of the Trump White House), and now Bob Woodward (Fear: Trump in the White House).

And there are tapes to back up numerous allegations in these books. Plenty of them.

So, Dear Leader in the Oval Office:

Quit fulminating and try mitigating some of your dangerous, ignorant, destructive conduct. Try learning from your aides, some of whom have done heroic things to keep the ship of state on reasonably even keel as the world watches your efforts to sink it.

Shape up or ship out.

Preferably the latter.

I will not cease exposing the worst of your continuing head-turning errors in the White House, just as I will not cease trying to make things better.

The rest is up to you.

Bon voyage.